The door opens: I got a new job - meet GC

I got the news on the best vacation I've had in a year. There I was in the hotel when I got the call from my recruiter: They are sending you the letter of offer today. Congratulations.

Elated. Happy. But I was mostly relieved.

It felt as if I've been holding my breath for months, and I could only now take a breath.

But whatever happiness I felt was blunted by a sense of caution in my spirit. After two bad jobs back-to-back, I've come to look at job opportunities with less naive joy. I'm now "cautiously hopeful".

Not my new office, but it looks like this, down to the beanie-T-shirt-wearing dude

Meet GC

I'll call my new company the GC. It's prestigious, with branches in the United States, UK, Asia - every continent you can imagine. Their benefits make my eyes pop. Their office is Google-lite, with pool tables, bean bags and coffee bars, and the contract explicitly states that I can start at whatever time I want as long as it's 8 hours a day. They were at the penthouse of the office building and one of the places to "hang out" was a massive courtyard garden with a killer city view. The place SCREAMED MONEY AND PRESTIGE. But what impressed me most about GC was it's thorough, meticulous hiring process.

You know what they say - if the hiring process is chaotic, watch out! That's a red flag. I can attest to that because that's ever so true with Crazy Co.

GC, however, was extremely meticulous and systematic. The first interview was with the hiring manager who lay out what exactly the job was about, what it's like working in the company etc. She took time to get to know me. She gave me homework to do - a proposal.

Second interview I met the team - the folks I'd be working with. They seem like a laidback, happy bunch. To be honest, I failed the second interview because I did the wrong type of proposal. Notably, she praised me first for preparing so throughly but told me that I didn't do what she wanted. The hiring manager decided to give me a second chance. This whole process made me feel that she was a fair person who didn't view failure as a catastrophe. She gave chances. She was kind and considerate because she didn't insist that I come for the third interview during working hours - she accommodated my time instead.

Third interview went much better. I realised, unlike the first proposal (which I hated to do), this one was totally in my league. I even had a blast doing it. So much so that I created a bonus concept video that made the entire team laugh.

I knew the interview went well, but I also knew I was up against stiff competition. This was a huge company with a huge pool of talent to pick from.

I didn't think they'd pick me.

But thank God they did.

Resigning

You know what they say - that you should give your resignation in person? Well, I totally broke that. Since I was in another state, and since GC wanted me ASAP, I had to resign immediately. As I worked up the courage to quit by phone, work was calling me off and on. 

With each call, my compassion/guilt disappeared.

Here I was on my vacation and they would not fucking leave me alone.

So when I made the call, I couldn't do it fast enough. Boss and I discussed the various disasters that have befallen the company while I was away. I gave her a rundown of my tasks and then, casually said, "Oh by the way, I'm resigning."

A pause. Then, "Oh."

I wasn't as heroic as I sounded. I was frankly terrified. Terrified because I didn't want to give a single hint about where I was going next. I stammered out a vague reason for leaving which probably made the new boss wonder what I was drinking.

When I disconnected the call, I felt as if a million tonnes had fallen off my shoulders.

I sent the email, cced HR. And slept like a baby that night.

The news is out

News got out that I resigned.

One day, I gathered with a couple of colleagues who ranted and raved about how badly Crazy Co had treated them.

Listening to them grew depressing after a while. Sure, it was fun to rant along with them for a while, but it got old after half an hour. I listened to them for another hour and thought to myself, "Dear God, how do people allow themselves to become so bitter and jaded?"

One colleague remarked that while the other colleagues would be able to manage the insane shenanigans of Crazy Co, she knew that I never had it in me to manage.

"I knew you won't be able to handle it."

That stabbed me in the heart. I suppose she was explicitly saying that I was too weak for Crazy Co.

The whole thing left a sour taste in my mouth. A toxic environment just twists people up. If I stayed any longer, I would be THEM.

Yes, I couldn't handle Crazy Co. I admit that.  

I had the fortune to work for a relatively healthy company for 10+ years. People stayed at that company for decades, and there's a very good reason why. So, perhaps I never really built the skills and muscles you need to navigate cut-throat corporate environments like Crazy Co, but my exposure to it has taught me how to protect myself and how to spot a toxic workplace immediately.

It also taught me what I liked or disliked when it came to work:

• I don't do well in formal, heavily bureaucratic environments 
• I don't like jobs where you have to be "on" 24/7
• Micromanaging bosses ... no, just no.
• I prefer a contributor role, not a managerial one
• I don't do well in cut-throat environments

So thanks, Crazy Co. Although you are probably the WORST EVER COMPANY I've worked for, you've taught me a lot. You've taught me resilience, and you've taught me to forget you in the ashes of my resume history.

PS: This article has been edited. I just realise that I'm leaving far too many clues about my workplace and I can't be too careful right now!!